On the Menu...

This light, piquant and flavorful rice dish is inspired by the results of a drunken fumble with a Waitrose recipe card one varsity eve. Here, a light fish stock takes the place of yogurt or coconut milk (both staples in South/ South -East Asian dishes), leaving you satisfied but not heavy after the meal. The list of Ingredients may seem long, but don't let that daunt you- you're most likely to have a number of these lurking in the back of your larder (behind the Woodcock and stuck to the Marmite).

Serve with a light and fresh Raita  and an ice cold Hoegaarden.

Serves: 4-5 (keeps exceptionally well in the freezer)

For the Pilau

1 large onion, chopped
2 tbsp sunflower oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tbsp Korma Curry Paste
250g basmati rice
500ml Fish Stock 
Grated zest and juice of 1 large lime
20g fresh coriander
200g Cooked, peeled prawns

For the Raita

½ Cucumber, peeled and diced
½ x 500g tub Natural Yogurt
Chopped fresh mint (to taste)
½ tsp ground cumin
A pinch of cayenne pepper

Method 

1. Gently fry the onion in the oil for 4-5 minutes. Add the garlic and curry paste. Stir for a further minute, then add the rice and mix well.
2. Pour in the stock, add the lime zest. Season, then cover the pan. Simmer gently until the stock is absorbed and the rice is cooked to your preference (I favour mine with a little bite).
3. Roughly chop and stir in the coriander, add lime juice and prawns. Warm through and season.
4. To make the Raita, wrap the grated cucumber in a tea towel and squeeze out any excess water. Mix together all the Raita ingredients in a bowl. Serve a spoonful with a light squeeze of lime on top of your Pilau.

First date Thigh - rubbed, stuffed and thoroughly sprinkled.

So there comes a point in a relationship where a chap wants to have a lass back to his flat/ pad/ ministry/ secret dungeon. He wants to wine her, he wants to woo her but most importantly he must dine her. Alas, the supermarket monolith has yet to match an input of flavour to even the crudest of in-house catering. With such considerations in mind I provide you with this incredibly simple and inexpensive recipe with which to declare your lustful machinations

Recipe:

The largest container of Chicken thighs available
2 Lemons
1 large Garlic bulb
Oregano
Salt Pepper

We are talking simple, when you prepare this a second time you will want to do it with crushed new potatoes, however taking one thing at a time, I suggest you go with boiled and buttered with a light salad (the XX chromosome loves greenery).

First step - buy chicken thighs (or butcher you’re own) you will want two each with the meal but get the biggest packet because they are just great cold with a hangover. Take your sharpest knife and cut into the chicken at 90 degrees to the bone and bone deep. If this feels good that's fine, you're just dealing with the decline of the BBC. If it fills your loins with joy, consult the nearest physician.

You want about three slashes in each thigh. In to which you want to stuff garlic, or to be more specific; take garlic top and tail numerous cloves, rip the skin off so it’s as pale as a newborn Scot.
Now slice the cloves into vaguely geometric segments (I recommend the Trapezium). Bung these segments in to the three slashes made.
OK, once that is done you're going to want to lightly zest the lemons all over the thighs in the Pyrex container, add the oil, the juice of the lemons, salt, pepper and oregano.

Cook for 25 minutes at 200 degrees (Gas Mark 6), and then flip the thighs. Cook for a further 25 minutes flipping once more. If you like crispy skins crank the heat up just before service.

If it is part of your plan to inebriate the female, any medium dry white wine should compliment the dish nicely. If such a suggestion flies in the face of everything you hold dear (you're far to much of a raging torrent of machismo for the wine!) then I can only advice St. Peter's Organic Ale, fresh and light without overruling the dish; splendid stuff.